Reader,
Greetings and salutations! I welcome thee, esteemed Reader, to this exquisite Blog, entitled, "Unexpected Journey" with the subtitle of, "In Which the Speaker Attempts to Become a Highly-Trained Professional Thespian of the Stage Whilst Still Remaining a Heterosexual Creature" and underneath that, "Included are Important Musings of a College Student's Specific Viewpoints of Retaining His Sanity During His Mandatory Four-Year (4) Tenure at the Premier University for One with His Particular Skillset, the New York University, Situated within New York City Itself."
I pray that all reading these hallowed words can be found in Good-Health; if not, I strongly suggest 500 mg of Vitamin C in tablet form in conjunction with a Healthy Breakfast before 9:00 in the AM to ensure a well-fortified System of Immunity. You'll find the flavor is quite Satisfactory, the Benefits everlasting.
Allow me to introduce myself, O voyeur of the Internet! I was born with a name befitting the Gods, and I would Delight in sharing it with you now: At birth, I was Christened as Rockwell Hiriam Cliffs. I have currently survived twenty (20) years, three (3) months, eleven (11) days, thirteen (13) hours, and one (1) minute, according to the Gregorian calendar.
I shall share with you, unseen partaker of wisdom, a brief Understanding of my Unblemished Character, before launching into a necessary Explanation of this humble Blog's purpose upon this wide Earth.
When I had advanced to the age of six (6), I discovered my Calling in Life: to be a Thespian of the Stage. I began working immediately towards this lofty Goal, hampered only by my predilection to vote for the Republican Party and my Religious Beliefs, Mormon in origin. Once reaching the Milestone most refer to as "Sweet Sixteen (16)," however, I shrugged off the unfortunate Title of "Mormon," and shifted my Theories of Existence into a more Agnostic mindframe. Reader, do not think that I dissolved into a life of Immorality, for such could be no further from the truth. Nay, hidden seekers of Knowledge Unknownst, I instead hardened my resolve to live by a strict Moral Code, a Personal Guidelines, if you will. This is not to say I am above getting Drunk on the Weekend, Reader; Inebriated Debauchery in moderation is key to maintaining a Moral Life.
Another Point of Interest you may wish to be privy to is the fact that I was Home-Schooled for almost nineteen (19) years leading up to College. If you are keeping track, valued Reader, I was raised a Conservative, Home-Schooled Mormon Mama's Boy. If you do not Get where I am Coming From, I shall be blunt, in the form of an Analogy: If I were to pick up a Bat and step up to the Plate of Life and attempt to hit a Ball being thrown past me into the Glove of the Catcher behind me, I would miss entirely all three (3) tosses and be declared Out.
None of this affects me greatly in the Present, invisible web dancer, for I have escaped all of these Ordeals save for the Overwhelming Desire to see Rudy Guilani sworn in as President of the United States of America. I simply wish to share this History with you so that you could begin to appreciate the nature of this Blog, described in full below.
As the Title of this Blog indicates, I am studying the Stella Adler Method of Acting while holding true to my Heterosexual Compellings. This comes as naturally to me as cycling does to Lance Armstrong, but apparently is quite a Feat according to Others I generally Consort with. I take no special Pride in being a Man Who Likes Women, but it is a subject that I am certain to stay Firm on.
You are no doubt aware by now, magnificent Reader, that my Life appears to emulate that of a Fish-Out-Of-Water tale. Perceptive Reader, how correct you would be in this Matter! Herein lies the Humor and Main Purpose of this Indispensable piece of Web Journalism, for it seems as though everything about who I Am today directly contradicts a certain Facet of my Life up to this point! He who was once Mormon is now Godless! He who once learned at his Mother's Knee now must make his way alone in one of the Largest Cities on Earth! The very same Man who played the Lead Role of Oliver Twist in the Show of the Same Name flirts with Women and not Men! He who was born when the Blessed Reagan was in Administration must now confront the Fear that Hillary Clinton may rule the country in two (2) years, and that his Peers and Fellow Actors and Actresses were the ones that voted for her!
Finally, transparent succubi of others' thoughts, I have reached the Climax and Pinnacle of my Monologue. I have laid bare the Contents of my Soul and qualified this risible Blog. My Purpose is done and I now require a few hours' Sleep before the Day begins anew.
Be stout of heart, impeccably imperceptible Clickers of the Mouse! I shall return before the sun has finished its familiar Path across the Sky and settled in for the Night. Until then!
~Rockwell "Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair?" Cliffs
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
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